HOW TO LOSE YOUR JOB IN 10 WAYS
We don’t have a serious unemployment situation in Singapore. Good for jobseekers but not for employers trying to find employees who genuinely want a career instead of just something to occupy daylight hours, or who think they have nothing to learn.
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Remember the romantic comedy, How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days (starring Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey). Here is our tongue-in-cheek version of career suicide.
- Start by telling your supervisor how keen you are to learn, how confident you are in your abilities and how you expect professional training, but in the meantime, you have absolutely no idea how to do the job.
- Feel you should be allowed to perform your tasks how you like even if it’s done sloppily or inefficiently. After all, how can you gain experience if people keep dispensing advice?
- Instead of working to deadline, bring up your personal grievances or come up with creative excuses on why the job cannot be done, so someone else has to finish off.
- Keep your boss off your back by assuring him that you’re on top of your game. Then, push the panic button at the eleventh hour by announcing that you can’t make it. But it’s not your fault of course. Blame your ineptness on lack of support from supervisors and co-workers.
- Your supervisor wants to talk to you? Avoid him by all means. Conjure up excuses or at worst, have the meeting but zone out. Don’t take anything he says seriously, forget instructions, and go back to doing as you like.
- Look busy by piling your desk with paperwork which no one else will be able to sift through if you call in sick. This way no one will know what you’ve been doing.
- Draw up a daily complaint checklist of everything technology related – problems with the internet connection, your laptop, the phone and the air-con.
- Never bother checking your work. Who cares about factual and grammatical mistakes? If spotted by someone else, argue that it’s not your job to go through your work. Someone more senior should do it.